we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
