she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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