just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
