yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize