If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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