Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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