I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
