I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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