YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
