i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize