I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
