chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
