She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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