Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
time to smoke my breakfast
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
