i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
