my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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