so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
