I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Thank you for not boning my boss.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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