By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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