hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
