You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Still dying that you shit outside
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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