Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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