Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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