the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
ugly people sure do ruin things
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
