If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
