he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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