so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize