Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
