dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
