no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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