Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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