So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
