As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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