I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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