I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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