I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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