He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize