Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
