Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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