you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
