Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
