Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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