im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You took a bar mat shot.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize