Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
