Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
