so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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