Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
