oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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