saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
