R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
