You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
