Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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