I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
