is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
