I just saw a hot homeless man
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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