you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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