a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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