I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
