well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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