he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
