I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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